Atlanta Blizzard Cake

this cake looks pathetic, amiright? yeah, well it is a perfect metaphor for my #blizzard2016 experience.

i wasn’t even thinking of making a post when i baked it. i was literally just baking a cake because my family is crazy and i didn’t feel like going to the store today and i knew in a couple hours Spy would be asking me for baked Alaska (seriously). and so, as usual, i scraped together this hot mess out of what’s in my pantry so i would have some kind of answer when everyone inevitably hounded me about what sweets we had in the house.

don’t get me wrong. Atlanta Blizzard Cake is completely delicious. it just looks really sad. just like when i woke up this morning and we had literally 1/16 of an inch of snow on the ground. not even enough to half-cover the grass, y’all. and at like 7:30, Miss Girl was all MOMMY! THERE IS SO MUCH SNOW! LET’S GO OUTSIDE! and i’m kind of all oh, fuck. this. i need some coffee. AND WEAR YOUR COAT!!

and the next thing i know, she is outside with her friends (not wearing her coat) trying to do snow angels in 1/16 of an inch of snow. it all looked pretty sad, but to her, it was absolutely delicious.

in much the same way, when you pull a cake out of your ass on a “snow day” because you can’t actually be bothered to go to the grocery store (though, you certainly made your long-scheduled massage appointment), the optics on the results can be lacking, to say the least.

i knew i didn’t have what it would take to make chocolate frosting on yellow cake, which is preferred around here. but i did find a tub of Betty Crocker white (vanilla?) frosting in my pantry. no idea how long it’s been there or why it was there (i mean, like literally cannot remember why i possibly could have bought it . . . except that maybe it had something to do with the Satancakes . . . hmmm . . .), but obviously that screamed for a chocolate cake base.

i had just 2 eggs left after an amazing breakfast scramble. and just barely 2 cups of sugar. because. well, i rarely bake. and as i was putting together the idea of baking a cake, Spy decided to eat the last half gallon of milk with some Lucky Charms. sigh. so i got gas station milk and pulled together enough other ingredients to make a version of this One Bowl Chocolate Cake.

because i was also in fridge clean-out mode (lord, when am i not?), it was critical to choose a recipe where i felt i could add in the 2 chocolate swirl pudding cups with expiration dates of exactly today on them so they wouldn’t go to waste. whatever. you know you’ve been there.

so. long story long, the cake recipe is below. it is amazing. i nixed the whole boiled water thing. because what?? and also pudding. no boiled water, 2 Jell-O pudding cups and about 1/4 cup extra milk. bake 35 minutes and you have 2 perfectly fluffy, moist, sweet cakes to frost.

just make sure you have ample frosting. ONE TUB OF FROSTING IS NOT ENOUGH FOR AN ENTIRE LAYER CAKE. it’s about half of what you need. and it’s been so long that i forgot that. but it ended up being enough to put about a 1/16 inch layer of white in between cakes and on top . . . just like we had about 1/16 inch of white snow this morning, scantly covering our grass. sad looking, but still a delicious experience.

see how i brought that around, y’all? i know. i need to get out of the house, stop eating 10,000 calories of carbs, exercise a minute and pretty much get a life tomorrow. snow days are so hard! i hope all that happens and i’m out of the house when my family realizes the entire back half of the cake isn’t even frosted at all. doh! hope y’all with real snow day problems are doing way better!

One Bowl Chocolate Cake

onebowlchocolatecake

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour two nine inch round pans.
  2. In a large bowl, stir together the sugar, flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Add the eggs, milk, oil and vanilla, mix for 2 minutes on medium speed of mixer. Stir in the boiling water last. Batter will be thin. Pour evenly into the prepared pans.
  3. Bake 30 to 35 minutes in the preheated oven, until the cake tests done with a toothpick. Cool in the pans for 10 minutes, then remove to a wire rack to cool completely.
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