sorry, y’all. call me vapid. call me unimaginative. call me greedy. but if i had a “. . . a key that can open one building, room, locker, or box to which you don’t normally have access. How do you use it, and why?” (thanks, The Daily Post!), i sure as hell can’t think of anything i’d rather have access to than the Federal Reserve . . . or wherever it is that they stash all the cash around here, these days. a simple bank vault would probably suffice. wherever there’s 7 figs, yo. the way i look at it, it would be my fast-track alt to wining the lottery, which despite truly valiant efforts thus far, remains squarely outside of my reach.
so here’s the deal. i wouldn’t take all of it. i think i could work with like 5 million. maybe. obvs in this sitch it would be tax-free, so there’s that. after popping some Cristal, then throwing the pile of Benjamins on the bed and rolling around in them naked (or whatever a gangsta does in those circumstances) there are a few things i would do as far as paying bills, school funds and home improvements. but the rest would go to not spending time working for someone else and instead, following my dreams. what dreams? okay. fine. i don’t exactly know. but there would definitely be writing, political activism and helping to create and support efforts to make the world a better, more tolerant place for girls, for minorities, for the poor . . . okay, Miss America, right?
i know. it seems kind of lame. but my point is that i believe money is time, versus time being money. tell that to my timesheets. ha. having money affords you the ability to do things and think about possibilities that the average working guy just doesn’t have time for. having the comfort of not needing to punch a clock suddenly makes the world seem bigger, as the hours of a day stretch out in front of you, waiting to be filled with whatever you can dream up. and that is the most valuable thing a person can have.
what would your Golden Key open?