NaBloPoMo day 12: crazy cats, sleep gadgets & MOAR. COFFEE.

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at this rate, my time will come probably at some point next week. i have never looked forward to anything more in my life. ever. goodbye, cruel, sleep-stealing world!

okay, i know i post a lot about sleeping. or, more accurately, not sleeping. or sometimes how much everyone else seems to be sleeping while i’m not sleeping. i’m not obsessed, i swear. i’m just so sleep deprived i have to talk about it. and i know y’all can relate. in fact, as i was composing this in my head earlier this morning, i saw that Mother Hen had also posted about it today. it’s officially an epidemic.

i woke this morning around 5:00, much as i do around that time every morning, with my sweet, senile cat climbing all over me just to get to the top of my head for a snuggle. he starts at my feet, then zig-zags his way up and across all 5’6″ of me. when he reaches the apex, there’s a little circling, kneading (why is he not de-clawed?) and finally a plop-down that inevitably pulls my hair, forcing me to re-position — because god forbid he should have to. and then he purrs. when all the stars are aligned, it’s at this point that i also realize that Spy is snoring and that one final REM phase is completely out of the question.

on normal mornings, this scenario occurs at least 3 times before my alarm sounds at 6:30, making for a really awesome last couple hours of snooze time. some days, i also have had the joy of a 3:00 a.m. wake (thanks, hormones) or a 2:00 a.m. thrashing invader (thanks, 4 year old). so you can see how it all adds up over time.

today, i was lucky that Spy had an early meeting, so i was treated to his alarm blaring at 5:15. yay! not. after about 15 more minutes, i accepted the fact that i was never going back to sleep. ever, probably. and went ahead and got up. maybe i could be productive? most certainly i would dig up that Huffington Post article i stupidly bypassed yesterday about 5 gadgets that help you sleep to see if there was any hope for the weary and near dead (a.k.a. me).

okay, so i couldn’t find that article, but i’m pretty sure it came from this Techlicious post. i was really hoping at least one of these gadgets would address needy, roaming kitties, snoring husbands and/or bed-crawling-into preschoolers. no such luck. instead, for $100-$300, i can buy something to track my sleep patterns and then help me adjust light, sound and air to create optimal conditions for my best sleep. for-fucking-real? okay, none of this helps me a bit. none. so for now, i think i’ll stick to my bottle of wine, earplugs and morning venti Americano (or 2), all for under $20.

oh yeah, and the cat? yeah, this is where i found him as i was leaving for work. just. no. words.

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Hahaha!!! Thanks for the ping back! 🙂 🙂 This iis an epidemic, alright… what I need is a cure. Or a way to cryogenically alter my blood composition from liquid to frozen without killing me. Or it can kill me, that works too. At least then I could sleep… 🙂 (dark humour – not actual suicidal leanings…) :-! Poss the coffee! Mother Hen

    Liked by 1 person

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